


I didn't feel a Thing

by KFawkes



Series: Oxford Comma [6]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Kingsman Fusion, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Blood and Injury, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Kingsman Family, Kingsman Training, Love Confessions, Missions Gone Wrong, Post-Kingsman: The Secret Service, Protective Eggsy Unwin, Smitten Eggsy Unwin, True Love, Tumblr Prompt, its okay though don't worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 12:31:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12299310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KFawkes/pseuds/KFawkes
Summary: You are shot during a mission, and protective baby Eggsy doesn't like the idea of a world you're not in.





	I didn't feel a Thing

If there was one thing you could say about getting shot, it was that it didn’t suck as bad as you thought it would. For having seen so many people be gunned down (and honestly doing some of it yourself) you’d have expected it to be a bit more painful, or dramatic even. But this experience, wasn't really like that.

You didn’t scream, you didn’t cry… Actually, to be honest you didn’t even fucking notice it.

Which was about as reassuring as being shot in the fucking chest could be, but beggars can’t be choosers can they?

It had to be painful, there was no doubt about it— but when it happened you couldn’t feel a thing. Maybe that was because of the adrenaline still clinging to you from your recently finished fight. Or maybe it was the shock of it all masking the sensation. Whatever it was, you couldn’t feel shit and that both comforted and disturbed you.

You just looked at Eggsy, smiling wide and breathing deep— chipper as ever because you’d finally killed the son of a bitch you’d been fighting. The day had been long, and full of stress; but you’d finally won. All that was left to do was get some Chinese, go home and watch a shit movie with your ~~crush~~ best friend.

Only when you saw the face he returned, you knew that something was seriously wrong…

Eggsy made a lot of cute faces, but this one was the only one you’d seen that actually scared you. In that moment something deep in your gut screamed that you’d be haunted by that gaze, and at first you didn’t even realize why he wore it.

He was was mortified… Pale as a snow, with jaw hung open lazily and his eyes were wider than you’d ever seen them. The look he wore behind that azure gaze hurt you more than the bullet you hadn’t even noticed yet.

“What…?” You started lightly, shaking your head in confusion as he run towards you deliberately.

 _What’s wrong? Why is he…_ but then you slid your eyes to where his were glued…

“Is that…” The white shirt you’d been wearing was entirely crimson now.

The deepest most vibrant ruby, and you didn’t know where the hell it was coming from as stupid as that sounds. So you lowered your brow and pulled your fingertips towards the small hole in your shirt just below your left clavicle... Immediately you felt the warm blood making its way down your fingers and wrist like droplets slipping down a frosted window.

“Eggsy?”

That’s when you lost your footing, falling straight into his chest. The light and shapes of the room spun out as he fell to the ground with you, pulling you into his lap as your sticky blood sept like syrup staining his suit and hands alike.

“Oh, fuckin’ hell!” You could hear him almost yelling, and by the face he wore things didn’t look good for you. But you still hardly felt a thing even though you knew what had happened… “Go on then— put some pressure onit.” Eggsy finished with voice erratic and lined dreadfully as he rock you back and forth.

But you barely felt when he grabbed your hand, pressing your palm tightly to the fresh hole… You hardly felt any of his soft movements surrounding you either. The only thing you could feel was the blood that began pooling at your neck as it engrossed your fingers tenaciously.

Now as you watch him your eyes were growing heavier, and all you wanted to do in that moment was sleep. With ladened eyes you saw as Eggsy called Merlin…You listened to his tone and you watched the way he slid a hand to your face with fingers trembling and dyed red. It was hard even for you to miss how he’d been effected and in that moment you felt bad for him.

Yeah, you were bleeding out— laying there in his arms limp and almost lifeless, but you were worrying about whether HE was okay or not.

Typical.

The funny thing about this all was that you wanted to be in those arms for months now. Or maybe that wasn’t funny, and you were just delusional... Of course this wasn’t exactly how you imagined it would go down.

No, in your fantasy there was no blood and a lot less clothing… In your fantasy; he was yours. A part of you always just assumed one of these days you’d get together, even if just for a night. Even though you knew you’d always want more then that… Only now you’d never get the chance for any of it would you?

As you scan the disheveled face he wore time began to slow around you. You could hear his voice… You could still see him— technically. But it was almost as if you weren’t in your body anymore. It was like you were partially there, but also somewhere else entirely; floating… drifting…

“Nonono… stay with me. You ain’t s’posed to die down here, Tristan,” He paused to shake you again, pushing your hand harder into your chest as his face move painfully. “look at me— that’s right, up here, luv…” 

Eggsy shook your face harder this time, and you could sorta felt it… But all of your senses were dulled and nearly indistinguishable at this point, so maybe you couldn't.

For a moment though you were lucid enough to notice how much blood you’d lost, and the way Eggsy looked covered in it. It was spread through his hair from hurried hands pushing it back and it decorated that perfect jawline with smudged fingerprints. Your blood even painted his suit and his hands so thick it was almost black, and you knew… this was it.

You just had to hold on a little bit longer… Merlin would be there soon. Just a little bit longer...

“I think this—“ You realize now how hard it is to do the simple things like talking and blinking. How hard it was getting to pull each breath into your lungs. Before all of this, you barely noticed even doing them, but as you lay in his arms you realize how much energy it really took.

“Stop.” Eggsy was quick in cutting you off as he shook his head stiffly. His mouth was pulled into a tight frown, and that hurt more than any of the physical pain you should have been feeling.

“Lo-look at me…” You managed to say, but now you’re coughing and the breathing part is getting even harder to manage.

“Don't… You gotta keep awake, yeah?” Eggsy’s voice sounded so far away now... Like he was speaking from inside another room even though you knew he was right here holding you. But no matter how hard you tried to focus on his words or those kind eyes, you couldn’t. “How’s bout I tell you a story, eh? Keep you awake while we wait… You see there was this b--”

“Eggy, I…"

You wanted to stay with him... To tell him how you felt-- how you’d been feeling, but you were so fucking tired and all you wanted to do was sleep.

And then suddenly you weren’t with Eggsy at all anymore. One second you closed your eyes, and when you opened them you were at home— your childhood home to be exact. You hadn’t been there in years, but you were there now for some reason. The flowers and the chlorine from the pool you waded in smelled the same… you could even almost taste the hot concrete smoldering in the summer sun and the meat roasting over a neighbors grill.

Part of you knows that this isn’t right, that none of it is real. That you aren’t actually here, but you don’t seem to care and when you look around you noticed someone else was in there with you.

It was your old friend, Jeremy… You hadn’t thought about that kid in years either, but here you were-- playing games like you were 12 again. You plugged your nose and slid under the water, watching as he breathed loud billowy bubbles of air mouthing secrets and stories your direction.

That same part of you that knew none of this was real wondered why you came here of all places. There were other memories that were better than this one… other accomplishments or moments of pure happiness, but for some reason you were here with someone you hadn’t seen in years.

Jeremy's voice started to change before you, growing louder and more clear to understand until eventually it didn’t even sound like he was underwater any longer. It echoed around you reverberating the water you float in and you realized now that you don’t even have to hold your breath any longer. And when you finally looked back to Jeremy, it was no longer him that float across from you.

It was Eggsy.

His hair was spread airily like a golden crown atop his head and the ends of his suit jacket floated gently in the waves as if he weighed nothing at all. He looked so ethereal and almost melodic suspended before you, you almost forgot how wrong this all was.

_Is this what dying feels like?_

“I know it ain’t easy, but just a bit longer, luv-- hold on.” When he spoke his whispers were urgent and rushed but his face was soft and almost relaxed. 

You watched as he reached a hand towards your cheek, the translucent specks of light glinting over his pale skin... but before he could reach you, the water began rumbling and quaking around you. It shook so hard you could even feel the growl echoing in your chest.

Then before your eyes he was pulled away from you— ripped away as if a rope started dragging him through the water at his center. As you watched him rend into darkness you shot up from your suspension, throwing your face in every direction violently in search of him... But he was no where.

As you turn about recklessly, you could still feel that low grumble shaking you to the core. The sounds of thunder pounded as you watched the pool water rising around your neck. What happened next sounds insane-- like something you’d seen in some movie, but it somehow felt more real than anything you’d experienced before...

You watched as the soft waves turned on a sharp angle, inverting everything it touched instantly. In a split second all of the space surrounding you was flipped and filled with water, but that wasn’t even the weirdest part… Everything was backwards-- inverted and you knew right then that nothing about this place was right. 

You knew then that you came to this place, because this is where you were going to die.

“Merlin— get the fuckin car, will ya?” Eggsy’s voice called, and you could still feel him holding you tightly between his weakened limbs.

You could almost feel as he squeezed your face at your chin, patting your cheeks harder than he waned to… shaking your head— doing anything he could to keep you awake, but you were drifting… You weren’t there anymore, not really.

All that you felt was pressure where he touched... You could still hear him whispering at your ear, but you couldn’t see where the embrace came from, or the face begging you to hold on.

There was nothing more that you wanted than to stay with him, but it was getting more difficult with each second that passed. It was hard because you could see the water decaying everything around you. 

And you knew what it meant... You could have done without the creepy visuals, but you understood what was coming for you all the same.

“Don’t fuckin’ die on me, Tristan… I can’t lose you too...”

You heard Eggsy once more calling from no where… And you realized that this was it. This was your big goodbye... you wanted to tell him how much you loved his smile. That ever since you met him you’d had the most embarrassing crush on him… That he was the best person and friend you’d ever had.

How you loved him more than anything or anyone.

But this was it… and now you’d never get the chance.

 

————————-

 

You open your eyes slowly, but all you can see is a thick white encasing you… It’s so fucking bright and blinding that it almost hurts to be in. “… am I dead?” 

There was a ruffle of noises as a pair of feet approached you. “No, luv. You ain’t dead… But you scare me like that again, and I’ll be the one doin’ it, yeah?”

_Eggsy._

Now you realize just where you are… the Kingsman Infirmary, and you were very much alive. 

“Cheesy, like alwa— ow what the fuck!” You had started with a laugh, but now you finally felt the pain of that bullet spreading through you. “Holy shit, that _huuurts_.” As you finished you pulled yourself to lean against the headboard, resting your temple to it lightly as Eggsy slowly come into focus.

“You got shot, didn’t ya? Pain tends to be part of it.” Eggsy returned your laugh, but it wasn't nearly as convincing, and you could tell by the face he wore that he wasn’t doing well. Now, he didn’t have it as bad as you did, obviously— but he looked so depleted and empty. Like he hadn’t slept in days.

His face was dull, worn and his eyes were heavy and darkened with circles. As you watch him lean closer to you, you realize he must have been with you the whole time... How ever long that's been.

“Jus wanna say, if attentions what you wanted-- you coulda just asked.” Eggsy smiled pure this time, and you could feel that same prickle low in your stomach stretching like it always had when he looked at you that way. In that moment you were so fucking glad to see that cheeky smile again, you could kiss him. “Gettin’ shot is a bit much— even for you, innit?”

“What can I say… I’m big on the theatrics.” You loved these moments of banter, and as you pushed through the pain it was nice to pretend everything was normal for just a minute. 

“You even fainted…” Eggsy whispered, scrunching his face as if he was breaking some bad news to you, and you laughed even though it hurt. 

After a second he pulled his bottom lip in chewing it as he stare at the bandage wrapping your chest arduously. His eyes were burdened and you knew what he was going to say, even before he opened his mouth. “I shouldna let this happen... I should of protected you better. Done some--”

“Eggsy… this is in no way your fault— how could it be?” It was hard to talk, but you needed to and more importantly, he needed to hear it. “We chose this-- this job, this life. We knew the risks when we signed up... I knew the risks.”

“Maybe we did…” Eggsy slid his eyes from your bandage, his lips pulled back into a firm frown with brows lowered, and you felt your heart ache again. He didn't say anything at first, but you could tell he wasn't finished. “But I ain’t ever felt like that before…”

A warm wave washed over you like static, and you wondered if he meant what you thought he might. You felt your heart begin racing fast in the broken cage of your chest, each thump offering a dull pang with it.

“Like what?” You asked lightly as he narrowed his eyes, the smallest smile slipping the corners of his lips.

“You really gonna make me say it?”

Now you were almost positive what he was getting at, but there was only one way to be certain… “Say what?”

“Course you are… Shoulda known.” Eggsy smiled to his lap, scanning his hands anxiously as he press the tip of his tongue to the corner of his mouth. “When Harry died— I though that was just it. As bad as it could get… that nothin' could feel worse.”

He paused running a hand through his hair as he release a deep sigh, leaning towards you resting his elbows on his knees; his jaw clenched tightly. “But then you went and got yourself shot, didn't ya?”

This is the part where your eyes nearly filled with tears as your mind fluttered with confusion and elation. Maybe it was the exhaustion bringing that side of you out… maybe it was what Eggsy had been alluding to… Whatever it was, you felt it heavy upon your chest and it took all your composure to fight it.

“When you was layin there-- bleedin… I realized it could get worse. I realized you could be gone one these days-- just like Harry… and,” Eggsy paused to clear his throat nervously as he shifted his weight. He wouldn’t look at you at first, but that didn’t bother you.

“And?” You asked timidly… Everything told you what he was going to say, but you needed to hear it in his words, from his lips to know it was real.

“And I can't lose you… ever.” Eggsy pulled in a deep breath, holding it tightly as you pull yourself towards him. 

Pushing past the sharp pain shooting down your chest and arm you grabbed his sweater in as tight a handful you could muster. “You listen here, Unwin... I’m not going anywhere. Not now, not ever. You’re stuck with me.” 

And before you knew what you were doing, you pulled the ball of fabric between your fingers closer, pressing your mouth to his softly.

Eggsy’s breath was warm as it released sharply on your neck, sending with it a wave of cold chills. It was clear he’d been taken by surprise at your sudden embrace, but of course he had been. You half expected him to pull away, because there was no way you were actually kissing Eggsy fucking Unwin right now. But he didn't. Eggsy just slid his hand up the side of your neck slowly, tracing your chin softly with his thumb as he kissed you back longingly.

Now, if there was one thing you could say about being shot, it was that it didn’t suck nearly as bad as you thought it would. Unless you were actually dead right now and this was the after life... And if that were the case? Also not so bad now that you thought about it. But the warm ache of pain and the sweet taste of his lips let you know that you may not be dead, but you sure as shit found a piece of heaven.

**Author's Note:**

> SORRY FOR TYPOS I SPENT TOO LONG ON THIS BITCH <3 Tried to get them all now!)


End file.
